This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This baby is an asshole
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
