does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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