I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
