I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize