chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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