if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
