so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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