if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize