theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
