this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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