Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
