He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
