Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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