I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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