he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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