yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
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You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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