i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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