It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
