I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize