let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
