Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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