pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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