it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
A+ Viking dick
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
