so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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