ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
