I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
