Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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