Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Swine flu is the new snow day.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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