I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Pants are for mortals
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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