i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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