Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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