I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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