If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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