HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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