dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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