Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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