There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I could fuck to npr.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
