you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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