8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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