worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
