I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The air was thick with penises
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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