omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
