That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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