I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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