I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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