someone owes me an orgasm
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
