I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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