If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
