So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
