He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
