It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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