OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Randomize
