Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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