Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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