i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
