make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize