Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
