i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
How external is "for external use only"?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize