They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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