We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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